Breaking News!

Ladies and Germs,

Here at the League of Extra Horny Gentlemen, it has been brought to our attention that something has been lacking from this blog. Stories concerning sperm donation and gayness can only attract so much attention. This blog is supposed to be about manhood and living the modern gentleman lifestyle. We have neglected a major aspect of what it is all about to be a Gentleman. For this, we apologize. We have taken it upon ourselves to provide our lucky viewers at home with our latest signing, the 'Reformed Bad Boy' himself, Mr. Denny Reed!

Mr. Reed will be here to provide all of our lucky viewers with his thought-provoking and insightful sports commentary. chances are more than likely that Mr. Reed has forgotten more than you will ever learn concerning anything inside the world of sports. Mr. Reed specifically asked to come aboard just in time for March Madness!

For those of you unaware, Mr. Reed is going to be the next Dicky V. (and you can hold us to that)
So, before you embarrass yourself and submit your brackets, check here for the latest Bracketology and commentary!

Nicholas Burke

I used to think that babies came out of the woman's butt... to my utter suprise, they don't. My name is Nicholas Francis Burke, but most people refer to me as just "Burke." Your thinking, "Wow Burke, I didn't realize that you have such a fucking lame middle name." Listen bitch, it so happens that Frank is short for Francis. Don't you remember a little guy named Francis (Frank) Sinatra? The guy fucking pioneered "panty dropping." Women most likely would have eaten a bowl of cereal out of that man's ass if he'd of let them. If that's not cool... I sure as hell don't know what is. Getting Lucky Charms eaten out of your ass by a pair of beautiful women... forget about it.


Anyways, I thoroughly enjoy freaking out about everything. It makes things that much more exciting. I also thrive in the fact that when someone is referring to meeting me they either call me "that dirty white guy" or "that goofy-dirty white guy." Apparently my long flowing blonde hair, looks greasy and unkempt. What the fuck!? I shower everyday... well almost everyday... every other day. The beautiful scents of my own natural musk is covered up by the numerous amount of cigarettes I suck down. Not to mention my recently pointed out love handles (thanks Russ) and my beer gut. You'd think attracting women would be nearly impossible for a specimen such as myself... wrong. I really don't know why, but it seems the more dirtball you are the more ass you can get. I mean, personally I have straight up smelled like stinky-sweaty testicles and have gotten laid without complaints. (You know that if you can smell your own odor than you really fucking stink) It's funny. Sorry, I keep distracting myself with my own ADD. So, besides loving to freak out and being a complete dirtbag, I enjoy hanging out with my fellow Extra Horny Gentlemen (I really don't enjoy it, but for the blog's sake... I do) while drinking dangerously large amounts of alchohol and creating drama. So funny. I also really like smoking cigarettes. Someone once asked me what I had planned on doing for the day, I simply responded with "I'm gunna sit around and smoke some cigarettes." I'm that guy that will probably have sex with your girlfriend if given the opportunity. I'm done with this post.

I hate you all, and thrive on how much I do. Remember Gentlemen, don't shower.

-Burke

Bloody Term Paper

After weeks of stress and preparation, the due date of my term paper for Chicana studies was finally upon me. I skateboarded proudly to class with my finished text in one hand and a Primetime mini-cigar in the other. "What a nice fucking day", I thought to myself, "so sunny and calm", at which point I went down, HARD. After a couple of seconds of rolling and sliding on the concrete, I looked up to see a crowd of people giggling at me. You know, the awkward post-injury but kind-of-funny without trying to make the person who fell feel embarassed laugh. I don't know what caused me to fall. But, I simply stood up, shook it off, and took a proud bow. Then, like all post-fall skaters, I casually scanned the ground for any small object (stick, rock, pot-hole) that would have caused me to go down. There was nothing, "Fucking phantom object!" Yet, to my surprise, the Primetime mini-cigar had stayed lit and entact. "Stoked".

Anyway, given the intensity of the moment, I didn't realize how much my palms and knuckles were bleeding. huhuhuhu, huhuh. My cover page was covered in blood, lol. "Fuck!" I didn't have time to go home and print out another one; late papers were not accepted. I was forced to rip off the cover page, it was just too gnarly. But there was still a little blood on the introduction as well as the first body paragraph. I reluctantly turned it in, hoping it was obvious to my TA that I had put my blood, sweat and tears into this one.

For my introductory bio as a member of the League of Extra Horny Gentlemen: I'm just a humble 3rd-year college student that's eager to start his carreer, living amongst the other "four-year tourists" here at the beautiful UC Santa Barbara. All I need are some huge waves, catholic sheilas, and some beetz on my burger.

Jake

As for my introduction, My name is Jake and currently live in Huntington Beach, California. I am the younger brother of Nick, and am the youngest member of the league. As for my older brother Nick, I am better than him in every which way, hence the self-proclaimed Burke 2.0. I am better looking than him, cleaner than him, taller than him, and I have more hair on my head. Also, I don't grow a Spencer Pratt flesh-colored beard. But enough about that, and more about me. I have become quite infamous for a "bladder" problem that happened on new years two years ago. All I have to say is that it was New Years, and I have one question to ask, "Have you ever been that drunk?" If you haven't pissed yourself, then you haven't been that drunk. You can usually catch me playing Xbox live under the name PopePeabody (refer back to New Years), or watching a "legally" burned movie. I will add one more thing about Nick and I, when you get us together, 300 high fives is a must. I look forward to reading and posting some more outrageous exploits of the League of Extra Horny Gentlemen.

P.S. Today is the first official day of Mustache March.

Ru$$

Bonjour,

My name is Russell and I am currently residing in Los Angeles, California.
I'm 20 years young and still riding my father's coattails while I attend college here at UCLA. I am a man of simple taste, I also enjoy the finer things in life. Some of my many interests include: Samba Dancing, French (the language of love), FIFA, Looking Fly, Pumping Iron, LOST, Chipotle, UCLA Basketball, Smoothies, Wealth, Luxury & Women. Some would say I am a little "old fashioned." I still believe in chivalry and being a gentleman. I will always pull the chair out and open the doors for my ladies. In my travels, I have come across many things peculiar, spine-tingling, freaky, outrageous, and just outright funny. I am excited for our fans to embark on this journey.

Au Revoir

Tommy

Ok so I guess I will kick it off with my introduction. I am Tommy Pesto I grew up with all these Bozos and we have been BFF's forever. I have been playing volleyball all my life and its kinda what I do. I have been know to be pretty ridiculous at parties. My claim to fame was the "naked guy"... yea I was that guy. I have mellowed out a little bit. I have given up drinking for this season of volleyball. BTW I am a junior at Long Beach State and am on the volleyball team. And I believe there are many many many stories about my shenanigans you wanna know about them???? Ask and you shall receive

<3333333

Tommy

Meet The Masters:

Greetings,

Let me start off by saying- If you came here looking for gay porn, You've come to the wrong place.

The League of Extra Horny Gentlemen is a place where our entourage of playboys and scholars will document their opinions and philosophies, as well as some of our very own media. We have decided to give "average joe's" such as yourself an exclusive sneak preview into our world via cyberspace.

So count your blessings and Enjoy this blog.

Without any further adieu, Let us introduce you to the gang...



Name: Russell
Age: 20
Location: Los Angeles, CA





Name: Nick
Age: 21
Location: Huntington Beach, CA












Name: Jay
Age: 21
Location: Santa Barbara, CA











Name: Tommy
Age: 21
Location: Long Beach, CA











Name: Jake
Age: 18
Location: Huntington Beach, CA










Name: Victor
Age: 21
Location: Madrid, Spain