Bloody Term Paper

After weeks of stress and preparation, the due date of my term paper for Chicana studies was finally upon me. I skateboarded proudly to class with my finished text in one hand and a Primetime mini-cigar in the other. "What a nice fucking day", I thought to myself, "so sunny and calm", at which point I went down, HARD. After a couple of seconds of rolling and sliding on the concrete, I looked up to see a crowd of people giggling at me. You know, the awkward post-injury but kind-of-funny without trying to make the person who fell feel embarassed laugh. I don't know what caused me to fall. But, I simply stood up, shook it off, and took a proud bow. Then, like all post-fall skaters, I casually scanned the ground for any small object (stick, rock, pot-hole) that would have caused me to go down. There was nothing, "Fucking phantom object!" Yet, to my surprise, the Primetime mini-cigar had stayed lit and entact. "Stoked".

Anyway, given the intensity of the moment, I didn't realize how much my palms and knuckles were bleeding. huhuhuhu, huhuh. My cover page was covered in blood, lol. "Fuck!" I didn't have time to go home and print out another one; late papers were not accepted. I was forced to rip off the cover page, it was just too gnarly. But there was still a little blood on the introduction as well as the first body paragraph. I reluctantly turned it in, hoping it was obvious to my TA that I had put my blood, sweat and tears into this one.

For my introductory bio as a member of the League of Extra Horny Gentlemen: I'm just a humble 3rd-year college student that's eager to start his carreer, living amongst the other "four-year tourists" here at the beautiful UC Santa Barbara. All I need are some huge waves, catholic sheilas, and some beetz on my burger.